‘The English Marriage’ is the title of a new book by Maureen Waller.  But if you’re thinking that this is a story of blissful unions, then you’re sadly wrong.  The book’s sub-title  -  ‘talesof love, money and adultery’  -  gives some idea of its tone and content.  One reviewer describes it as ‘a collection of marital horror stories from 1465 to the present day’, and adds that ‘like all good horror stories, it runs an icy finger down your spine’. 

Here’s just one example of the kind ofmarriages the author examines: 

In 1785Mary Eleanor Bowes, the great-great-great-great-grandmother of the present QueenElizabeth II, applied for a divorce from her second husband. 

The grounds on which she made her application included ‘adultery, beating, scratching, biting, pinching, whipping, kicking, imprisoning, insulting, provoking, tormenting, mortifying, degrading, tyrannising, cajoling, deceiving, lying, starving, forcing, compelling,and...wringing of the heart’.

Even at this distance in time you can’t help feeling sorry for this poor woman and angry with the selfish, fortune-hunting con-man who abused her so terribly.  Thisis not a book designed to strengthen your trust in the goodness of humanity or in the sanctity of matrimony.

But that is certainly not the whole picture,thank God!  

I know many happy and healthy marriages; I am myself the product of a happy and healthy marriage;  and, of course, I have enjoyed a wonderfully happy and healthy marriage for these past 41 years.  It just keeps getting better, so Margaret and I are really looking forward to the next 41 years!

That’s why I’m delighted when people discover for themselves that there is no better way to live and raise a family than in marriage. 

I was reviewing the newspapers today for the Sunday Morning programme on BBC Radio Manchester and I picked out this story from ‘The People’:

Soccer ace Rio Ferdinand has revealed how turning 30 beat his fear of getting MARRIED.

Rio had vowed never to wed Rebecca Ellison, 28, despite being together for nine years and having two kids.

But the England and Manchester United defender finally tied the knot with pretty Rebecca this summer.

Rio, brought up in Peckham, in South London, said: "I'd always warned her I was not the marrying kind. I just hated the thought of a wedding. It terrified me.

"My own parents never married and they split up when I was 14.

"I didn't know anyone who was married when I was growing up in Peckham. Or, if they had married, it was already over.

"It was accepted that people just moved in together and went their own way if the relationship wasn't right.

"But once I turned 30, I began to grow up. Hitting the big Three-O changed everything.

It made me realise I was missing out."

Good on you, Rio! 

I just hope and pray that Rio and his wife have as much joy and pleasure in their marriage and family as Margaret and I have.

Just one thought...

If a talented footballer who’s been as famous for his partying as for his exploits on the field can settle down to marriage, do you think there’s any possibility of me fulfilling a life-long dream and becoming a professional soccer player? 

Hmm...maybe not.  Probably too late for that!

If you have been, thanks for reading this.